Recognizing and Admitting to Abuse

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Why it is Hard to Recognize and Admit to Abuse

God showed me why it takes so long for a victim of life long abuse to recognize they are being abused, (why it took so long for me to recognize I was abused). By the abusers actions they told me it was ok for them to abuse me and that I had no right to feel hurt. Each time they abused me they reinforced that. Yet something rises up in the victim trying to stop the abuse. Therefore there is a war going on inside because of conflicting reports and unless there is someone to reinforce the fact that they are being abused and that they do have a right to feel hurt, then the abuse will continue and the victim continues to become even more confused and open to the abuse. The abuser will continue to reinforce that the victim is the cause of the abuse because if they had not done this or done that then the abuse would not have happened. The extent or degree of the abuse affects the ability to recognize the abuse and the length of time it will take them to be healed.

The abuser does not want their victim to understand that the abuse has nothing to do with what the victim does or does not do. It is all about the abuser’s desire to hurt someone, to rule over someone and to make themselves feel better and more important. Usually the abuser is someone who has also been abused and has such low self-esteem that they believe the only way they can “be somebody” is by stepping on someone else, doing what was done to them. This gives them such a feeling of “empowerment” that they continue to abuse and rule over others, building themselves up until they have convinced themselves that the victim “deserves” the abuse. They cannot and will not take responsibility for their own actions because they would have to admit to their own deficiencies and shortcomings. They would have to admit the problem lies with them and is not the fault of the victim. Many times they cannot admit or recognize that they have been abused. They are simply repeating what was done to them.

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